Over 35s 1 v YIS Teachers 1 (YIS win 3-2 on penalties)

It’s taken me a month to get over this defeat and find sufficient motivation to record the details. Apologies.

This match was for that rare prize in football, the Cup treble. With the Nishiumi Cup and Interport Champions Chalice already in the Cabinet, it was an opportunity to go down as one of the great Over 35s teams of all time.

Alas. The Dragons strode in from Yamate and trampled our dreams into the artificial dirt.

How did we allow it happen? Why? …

Grisly Details in Brief

The third playing of the Scholars Cup was an evenly matched game, except in the Second Quarter when we were absolute parp, and was decided on penalties, with the score tied at 1-1 after 80 minutes. On the balance of play, the Dragons probably just about deserved it.

It was good to see that YIS Headmaster Simon Taylor is apparently continuing his predecessor’s custom of hiring teachers who can play a bit of football. YIS in this match showed the benefit of long-term planning, displaying strength and quality in all departments of the pitch. They’ve even got a proper goalie.

In the opening quarter, big James McDonald twice got behind our last defender, but was foiled on both occasions by the ever-dependable Trevor Burton-Towell in goal. In this period the influential Alex Thomas in central midfield fired narrowly wide from 18 yards, while at the other end the Machine rarely threatened.

YIS pressure eventually told in the Second Quarter. Julian Weekes climbed highest for a second ball whipped in after a corner and planted a firm header past a horribly exposed Trev. With David Noon and Colin Campbell in particular causing us all sorts of problems in this quarter, the goal was merited.

We at last started to find our feet in the third quarter, and contrived to pull level when slick build up play at the Shed End involving myself, Alan Plater and Petr Vyvial culminated in the box with what the referee deemed was a foul on Petr by Weekes just as the former pulled the trigger. Russell Brown stepped up and stroked an excellent penalty into the bottom left-hand corner.

The Fives then pressed for the winner but struggled to carve out any clear openings. Weekes again was involved in a dicey moment when a cross from the right flew off his shoulder and narrowly cleared the bar. From the ensuing corner Gordon Deas missed a great chance, his diving header from six yards somehow bouncing over the bar.

We had our moments then, but 1-1 is how it finished and it was on to penalties.

Alex Thomas successfully converted their first, with cameraman me slow to react to the photo opportunity.

Penalty expert Russell Brown took our first kick, picking the same corner he had during the game. The keeper guessed the right way, but was beaten by the pace of the shot.

Julian Weekes made it 2-1 with a great pen. This photo was taken towards the end of an unusually long run up, at the beginning of which we couldn’t work out whether Julian was going to take it with his left or his right.

Next up for the Fives was Petr. Oh dear.

Petr’s miss left Colin Campbell with the opportunity to seal victory for YIS. Trevor guessed the right way and got a good hand to the ball, but NYAAAA… it squirted in just behind the post [see it there?], accompanied by a plaintive gasp from our keeper. If nothing else, it is a happy irony that the last touch of a long season for the Fives should be by Trevor, our Most Valuable Player and the only man on the team to play every single game.

So, well done, teachers. With this game I think the Scholars Cup has come of age. It was a good competitive match—a proper game of football—and we’re already looking forward to meeting you again next season, when obviously the result will be very different. Until then, keep an ear out for news of the new membership deals at the Club. It would be great to see you and your families up on the hill more often.

YIS Captain Jonathan Ames lifts the trophy alongside injured YIS teacher and YCAC stalwart Dennis Stanworth, who delivered an excellent presentation speech worthy of the trophy.

Over 35 IQ

After the football, the Over 35s split into two teams, Over 35 IQ A and Over 35 IQ … B, and headed over to YIS for the Headmaster’s Quiz. The A team, starring myself, Dennis, Russell, Gordon, Kevin and Andreas, started brightly but faded badly as the beers set in, while the B team, comprising Alan, Simon, Greg, Mike and Dave started poorly and then suddenly improved when Will turned up (with his mobile). Both teams finished in mid-table obscurity, but in the process must have raised a good 50,000 yen for charity. Which charity I’m not too sure. We have yet to see the Headmaster’s report for this event.

By Alex Hendy

Squads:

YIS: David Noon, Colin Campbell, Trevor Kew (GK), Jonathan Ames (Capt.), Stephen McIlroy, Simon Lorimer, Julian Weekes, James McDonald, Alex Thomas, Bob Pomeroy, Simon Taylor (HM), Dan Reynolds, Dan Cowan

YCAC: Sadao Hosogai (Capt.), Alan Plater (Supreme Administrator), Alex Hendy, Trevor Burton-Towell (GK), Kevin Carden, Simon Warburton, Dave Fenner, Buddy Ferrie, Peter Yang, Yaw Ofei Amoabeng, Andreas Hirl, Anders Sjostedt, Petr Vyvial, Gordon Deas, Simon Litster, Russell Brown, Ed Nishiie

Goals: Over 35s, Russell Brown (PK); YIS, Julian Weekes

Man of the Match: Julian Weekes. Involved in all the key moments.

Referees: Unusually kind to us. Excellent.

Attendance: Many more for the teachers than there were for us.

Announced at the End of Season Party for all winter sports, held on April 4 in the main bar and exceptionally well attended by the Over 35s, the winners of our four pennants and free down-in-one pints are listed below.

I regret that I was not able to hear Alan’s comments prior to handing out these pennants owing to the chattering of the rugby crowd and the failure of the Club’s microphones. The summaries below therefore are entirely my own, but surely echo the sentiments of all who represented the Club’s senior football team this season.

MVP: Trevor Burton-Towell
Trevor played in each and every game for the Over 35s this season and made a vital contribution in almost all of them. Few of our victories or draws were easily achieved, and there is no question that our impressive record in 2008/9—and our enjoyment of the season as a whole—would be very different with a lesser keeper in goal. Commanding on the crosses and a great stopper of shots, Trevor was consistently one of our most outstanding performers this season and is a deserving winner of the Most Valuable Player award.

MIP: Andreas Hirl
It can’t be easy to win a “Most Improved Player” pennant in your debut season, but Andreas Hirl managed to convince enough voters that he was their man for this award. Perhaps the votes reflected the growing appreciation we all felt for Andreas’s performances as the season progressed. Andreas’s reading of the game, bravery, speed, and skill on the ball combine to make him an exceptional centreback and the stand-out player in what this season was a superb Silver Machine backline.

Top Goalscorer
Alan Plater had his calculator out the other day when Russell Brown fired in three, but he needn’t have worried. In double figures for the season, Alan was the main man up front for the team in this campaign, and scored a couple of real corkers.

Match Reporter of the Year
Really appreciated the generous applause from the team for this unexpected award. I’m an editor by trade and spend my days fixing other people’s work, so I enjoy the freedom to write what I like and thank all for their kind comments over the season, especially One Kevin Carden, who has kept me on my proverbial toes.

Congratulations to all the winners.

Over 35s 0 v YC&AC Seconds 3

For the first couple and a bit quarters of this match we were every bit as good as the Club’s TML Division II representatives. Honestly, we were that good. OK, so the Seconds weren’t at full strength, but neither for that matter were we, and while we didn’t perhaps look much like scoring, we knocked it about quite well and suffered barely a scare at the back. Indeed, it was a game at the half-way mark that we believed we could win.

Then, late in the third quarter Matt Wallace struck a shot from distance that squirmed under Big Trevor in goal, and suddenly it was déjà-vu all over again. Just as had been the case in the Hendy Cup Volume 1, it only takes a Second to score a goal and our defense falls apart.

Young Matt would go on to complete a hat trick here, despite having come off in the first quarter complaining of dizziness. His second was a brilliant strike, fired in from distance at the PBSE with a shot on the run that required minimal backlift. His third was a free header from a cross to the far stick and …

Next season, lads. Next season.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Matt Wallace (3)

Man of the Match: Matt Wallace

Referee: Marcel Niederhauser. Good ref. Thanks also to Zak for running the line. On which note thanks also to our own Gyula, for correctly not spotting that a Seconds’ effort in the second quarter had in fact crossed the line.

Cards: None

Attendance: There were quite a few there for this one. Susan Hendy, the daughter of the man who some years ago launched the annual Seconds v Over 35s fixture, was there and, er, fondly remembered in the bar afterwards. Fijian rugby legend Serevi watched for a bit. Friends of Matt Wallace were there. Willi Holzer, Simon Litster, Karl Hahne, Trevor’s wife and dog, Alan’s dog…. Thanks a lot, all.

Over 35s 3 v Seizan Kickers 1

Another 9:00 a.m. kick off on the hill and, boy, didn’t it show.

For the first two quarters of this match we were utterly somnolent.

We’re at the end of a long season of course, and our squad has been decimated by injuries. We had a couple of key players away on holiday for this match, too. But for Captain Sada none of that was any excuse for the way we went about our football in the opening two quarters here.

“You’re playing their game,” he chastised us. “I don’t like that.”

The opposition’s game, for your information, was a patient passing game of a pretty high standard, with good attacking outlets down both flanks and an excellent orchestrator in central mid. Our game sort of passively reflected that. This was not the middling-to-poor Seizan Kickers of last season. This was a good team which, if we were to beat, would require us to get in amongst them.

And so it came to pass…

First action of the third quarter saw the ball at the feet of Seizan’s playmaker, a physically tough and skillful sort with the ability to shake off the attentions of his marker and calmly find a teammate. Having shaken off a snarling, snapping Sada in this first exchange of the quarter, said player was peeved to find his legs cruelly thwacked away from under him with the ball long since dispatched. It was a bad foul from Sada; a booking for sure. But the referee, of course, didn’t see it. He must have been hard of hearing, too.

The tackle transformed the game. All of a sudden everyone was wide awake, none more so than the aggrieved Seizan player, who can count himself extremely fortunate not to have seen red for his prolonged, abusive and physical retaliation to Sada’s challenge. After a minute of getting away with eyeballing and chesting our Captain, he finally decided to duck in his head. Butt! The ref bottled the easiest decision in the rulebook and the hard man stayed on.

Which was good for the game, as it turned out. Everyone likes a little bit of needle, and now we had a real match on our hands!

Seizan had taken the lead in one of the opening quarters, and despite our renewed vigour, we still had it all to do. Happily, fortune would smile on the Fives. A waist-height cross into the Seizan box caught a defender on the arm drawing loud and enthusiastic appeals from all wearing Silver. The ref took a good few seconds to weigh up his options before correctly deciding to point to the spot.

“Russell!” shouted Captain Sada. And dutifully our dead-ball specialist smooched to the spot. Placed the ball. Stroked it home. 1-1.

Game on.

A really good game on. One of the best games of the season on. Both sides full of desire…

A Silvers attack. Chaos at the edge of the box, PBSE. Loose ball. Bobble Bobble. Russell Brown! Left footed, falling under pressure, whooooooosh into the bottom right hand corner!

And then suddenly it was three! That man Russell Brown again. Brilliance from the edge of the box!

What a finish!

What a result!

What a strange and wonderful game of football!

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Russell Brown, Russell Brown, Russell Brown

Man of the Match: Russell Brown

Referees: Present

Cards: Incredibly, no

Attendance: Alan’s dog

Over 35s 1 v Armani Army 2

Think I might just bang this one out in note form. Don’t recall too much to be honest.

A bit of a bogey side, Armani. Physical, skillful, snide… They usually get the better of us.

Outrageously their Captain tried to “borrow” one of our players before kick off when it emerged that several of their men were caught in traffic (= overslept) and they only had 10. We politely told him where to get off.

Evenly matched, we were, as I recall, and it was 1-1 when their cavalry turned up and things got a bit feisty.

Armani had struck the first through the aptly labeled No. 2, winner for me again this season of Most Irritating Opposition Player. Running Commentary Man crashed in on the run from about 10 yards, wrapping up in great style a fine attacking move at the SPE. Nnn…

Enter the skillful long-haired chappy with his box of theatrics.

And the chunky No. 4. Very aggressive and unpleasant.

But woo hoo! A great Marc Bailey equalizer. Curled in with quality from the edge of the box. Typical Bailey.

Battle battle battle. Argue argue argue. We’ve done well. A draw would be a great result.

There are seconds remaining. A corner. Another good one. Delivered with pace to the far post at the SPE. And it’s the No. 4 who leaps highest and GAH! thumps a header off the underside of the crossbar and over the line.

Nnn… and double nnn….

At least it wasn’t the No. 2.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Marc Bailey

Man of the Match: Petr Vyvial? In a rich vein of form the past few weeks, that’s for sure.

Referees: Not popular with either side as I recall

Cards: I expect so

Attendance: Oh yes

Over 35s 2 v KRAC 1

As was the case before last year’s match against the KRAC, when the Machine malfunctioned horribly on the gravel pitch in Kobe, there was pressure on the Over 35s going into this clash against the old enemy.

YC&AC had won the darts on the Friday night, and though we then lost in the badminton and drew in the hockey early on the Saturday, we pushed ahead in the afternoon’s football, with big wins secured by both Firsts and Seconds.

The score was thus W3-D1-L1 as the Silver Machine revved up at the Paul Blamire Shed End. With the rugby having been cancelled, we knew that a draw would be enough to secure for the Club the Interport, that a win would complete a hat trick of YC&AC football victories, but that a defeat would heap huge pressure on the YC&AC snooker team in the final match of the tournament. The rules of the Interport state that the competition holders (KRAC) retain their title if honours are even at the close of play.

We rolled up our sleeves…

Peeeep!

… and made no mistake this time.

Thunk! The famous old Over 35s Interport Champions Challice is reintroduced to its natural environment.

It was the niggliest of niggly games this one, the Over 35s not without guilt in contributing to the sometimes “professional” nature of the contest. And that’s all I’m going to say about that aspect of the match. I’m going to restrict myself here to an account of the goals so as not to land myself in trouble with the authorities. And besides, we’re all friends again now, aren’t we. Eh?

The first of our goals came from me in the second quarter—a side-footed effort hit back across the keeper at the PBSE from about six yards as the ball span across from a corner. Well placed I thought, but without much power, and though the ball clearly crossed the line, that didn’t stop a certain KRAC individual from loudly protesting otherwise, a cynical act which made me very angry indeed.

Our second is surely a shoo-in for goal of the season. Third quarter (?), and a clearance from defense by the KRAC dropped from a great height in the vicinity of Gordon Deas about thirty yards out, central, at the Swimming Pool End. Gordon waited coolly for the ball to drop before shaping to unleash an audibly superb volley that arced like a cannonball over the outrushing defenders, over the outstretched fingers of the excellent KRAC keeper and just under the crossbar. BOOM! 2-0.

The KRAC pulled a goal back in the fourth quarter when Trevor Burton-Towell in goal mis-palmed a wicked cut-back cross from the right into our own net. 2-1. Squeaky bum time.

The tension which had slowly built throughout the match was reaching a nadir in the closing stages when the Unutterable, an excellent player when he stopped talking, collected the ball at the SPE about twenty yards out and embarked on a jinking run into a dead end on the edge of the six-yard box. Simon Warburton trotted across calmly to cover and DOWN went the KRAC man like a sack of coconuts.

No… NO!

THE REF’S ONLY GONE AND GIVEN IT!

There must have been a minute left on the clock when the Unutterable shuffled up to take the PK. Weighed down by a guilty conscience perhaps, his effort was a laughably poor one, and diving to his right Big Trevor comfortably turned away the shot, thereby securing for the Over 35s a richly deserved victory, our first against the KRAC at this level since 2001.

1988 Kobe DRAW 1-1
1991 Yokohama YCAC 3-1
1992 Kobe KRAC 2-1
1993 Yokohama YCAC 6-0
1994 Kobe KRAC 4-2
1995 Yokohama KRAC 7-2
1996 Kobe DRAW 0-0
1997 Yokohama KRAC 3-2
1998 Kobe KRAC 3-1
1999 Yokohama YCAC 2-1
2000 Kobe YCAC 4-0
2001 Yokohama YCAC 2-1
2002 Kobe KRAC 6-2
2003 Yokohama KRAC 1-3
2004 Kobe DRAW 2-2
2005 Yokohama DRAW 1-1
2006 Kobe KRAC 3-0
2007 Yokohama KRAC 3-0
2008 Kobe KRAC 5-2
2009 Yokohama YCAC 2-1

It must go on record that it is highly unlikely the Interport would have been held this year had it not been for our new pitch. There were great pools of standing water on the grass that still surrounds the artificial turf even when we turned out, in warm spring sunshine, in the middle of the afternoon.

Let us pause for a moment to reflect upon watery pitches past.

Big thanks are owed to our opposition as well for helping to make sure this relatively new fixture in the Interport schedule went ahead once again. The KRAC is struggling for members at the present time, and great credit is due to the likes of the aforementioned Unutterable who played two or more field sports for their Club on the day.

After the match a good number of the Over 35s headed up to the Snooker Room to watch the YC&AC secure yet another victory and complete a 5-1-1 thrashing of Kobe overall.

We then headed downstairs for a good buffet dinner and the presentation of the prizes.

A superb local taiko band entertained the diners. One of the best I’ve seen in twenty years. Catch them next time if you can.

Post-prandial posturing: From left, Gordon Deas, Donkey, Supreme Administrator Alan Plater, Alex Hendy, Captain Sada, One Kevin Carden, Russell Brown

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Alex Hendy, Gordon Deas

Man of the Match: Trevor Burton-Towell

Referees: Out of their depth

Cards: Several

Attendance: Steve Taw, Anthony Savage, Steve McKie… Numerous other good men of the YC&AC football fraternity and friends.

First Round
YC&AC Over 35s 1 v J Club 0 (Rasmussen)
Tingu 2 v J Club 2
YC&AC Over 35s 1 v Tingu 1 (Hendy)

Final
YC&AC Over 35s 3 v Midorigaoka 0 (Plater 2, Rafael)

YC&AC CHAMPIONS
——————————————————————————

I’d love to write that this picture says it all….

… and leave it at that.

But good as the picture is, it cannot tell the whole story.

For sadly it does not feature Dennis Stanworth, the leader of our defense, who at the very moment this picture was taken was being lifted into an ambulance with what I’m told is a torn cruciate ligament. This is obviously very bad news indeed, and if it doesn’t exactly sour our victory, it certainly puts it into perspective. Get well soon, Dennis.

Neither of course does the picture feature the Big Man, Stephane Martin, who protected the ball up front as no other giant Frenchman on our team can, but who sloped off with a milder version of knee knack long before the final.

Nor does it feature “the Magician,” Per Rasmussen, who hit a thirty-yard scorcher in the opening match of this tournament but limped off shortly afterwards.

Martin Hornung’s not in it either. Martin was Martin personified for the couple of minutes he lasted before Gazza-ing himself in his first tackle. He’s another who’s out for the season.

That’s a heavy list of casualties up there, in more ways than one, and when you chuck in the couple of groin strains and other minor injuries suffered, it’s tempting to ask questions about the format of this tournament for veterans. If a minute is a long time in football, then what for the finalists in this competition is three forty-minute matches in a day? A very long time indeed, is the correct answer.

And furthermore…

If I wrote that this picture says it all, and left it at that, I would risk the wrath of One Kevin Carden, who would quite rightly point out that he and his colleagues at the back were absolutely magnificent throughout this tournament and deserve lengthy and honourable mention. So I’ll mention that, and single out Andreas Hirl for special praise. He was a ROCK in this tournament, Andreas. A ROCK upon which so many foreign waves crashed.

Of course, having mentioned our defense, it would be remiss of me not to speak of our midfield and attack. Up front, Alan Plater ran Andreas close for Sada’s Man of the Match award, turning in another all-action display that featured two great goals. (I know many of you on this list haven’t seen Alan play this season, so trust me when I say that Plater is fit, fast and frightening in 2008/9.) One of Alan’s goals in this match was an absolute peach of a thumped effort from 18 yards after the Supreme Administrator had been released by a ball of the highest quality from Petr Vyvial.

Though said Petr would reprise his old cow’s ass and banjo trick from a couple of yards in the match against Tingu, he otherwise had a top, top tournament pulling the strings in midfield. Some players seem to raise their game on the big occasion, and if Petr is one such player, then I am another! The match against Tingu was easily the best I’ve played all season. I’d like to bore you with the details, but I’ll leave you with the highlights: a slapped left-footed poacher’s goal at the SPE and a shot on the run against the crossbar at the same end that must have flown forty yards from foot to bar and bar to pitch and might have skimmed off the upper diving board had it continued on its trajectory.

But I don’t like to single out individuals…

This was a classic Over 35s team performance. We started out very badly against J Club but ground out the result. We were much improved against a tricky opposition in Tingu and fought to get the result we needed. And in the final, we had more than the necessary fitness, desire and quality (debutant Rafael’s pinged effort from 25 yards was a thing of rare beauty) to deliver us the title.

I’d love to write that this picture says it all…

And if you gaze into it long enough, it does.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Per Rasmussen, Alex Hendy, Alan Plater (2), Rafael

Man of the Tournament: Andreas Hirl

Referees: Some were better than others

Cards: Nope

Attendance: The YFA brought a few; Hans and Komor were there for the final; Marcel and Zak; a couple of wives…. Thanks a lot, all.

Over 35s 7 v Johnson & Johnson 0

They come all the way down from Aomori, Johnson & Johnson, for this annual thrashing on the hill. They used to bring us apples, but not anymore. Conceivably now the football part of J&J’s annual company sojourn south is something they want to get out of the way as quickly and painlessly as possible.

How they must have cursed when they learned about our new pitch and that no amount of precipitation would see this fixture cancelled. Ironically, it rained solidly on the day, and the steady downpour only served to make the conditions ideal for the slick brand of attacking football the Over 35s like to play.

Curiously we were not able fully to exploit the quick-playing surface to our advantage on this occasion, and whilst we dominated the game in terms of possession, we found ourselves rather struggling to create chances against what was a badly organised—but by no means individually poor—opposition.

And in the end, whereas last season we’d casually stuffed eight past our hapless visitors, this year we were only able to manage seven.

Russell “Geometry” Brown got one of those goals from the penalty spot, cruelly putting the ball just a fraction wide of the static keeper’s out-stabbed foot. Alan Plater bagged three, two with his chocolate leg and one with his head. And I struck two (also with my weaker left), one of which was a simple smash in from six yards following an outrageous piece of skill from the aforementioned Plater that merits a paragraph of its own.

Martin Hornung, I think it was, had charged down the left and pulled the ball back from the byeline to Alan running in across the keeper at the near post. Most players would opt simply to tuck such a chance away first time, but Alan—memories of his recent trip to Brazil perhaps still jiggling in his head—opted instead to tiptoe all over the ball and then, as though falling, to shunt the ball back to his strike partner with the studs of both boots.

The pick of the goals apart from that classic was our seventh (sixth?), Andreas Hirl’s 25-yard pearler at the Paul Blamire Shed End. Not even the great Blamire would have got his fingertips to that one.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Alex Hendy (2), Alan Plater (3), Andreas Hirl, Russell Brown

Man of the Match: Alan Plater

Referees: Present

Cards: Not even a meishi

Attendance: Three or four for them

UPDATE

Your match reporter received an irate e-mail from a reader shortly after this one was published. He felt the piece was “lacking a little on content” and “comes to an almost abrupt halt.” I’ve learned my lesson. In reprinting his letter I’ll spare you all the fluff and leave you with what I could extract by way of content:

“[Bla bla bla...] no mention of one Kevin Carden who [...] fractured rib [...] line of duty [...] out of position in midfield [...] 5th goal flicked on a header [to] Alex Hendy who … coolly slotted the ball into the far corner of the net. [...] 6th goal got out of Andreas’ way. [...] 7th goal [...] ball [to] Peter Yang who in turn guided the perfectly weighted pass into Alan Plater who completed his hat trick.”

UPDATE ENDS

YC&AC Over 35s 2 v Koreanna 7

The Silver Machine had no choice but to abbreviate its amorous activities on Valentine’s Night in advance of this absurdly early kick-off on the hill. It’s good to see a Sunday morning from time to time, however, and a red-wine fueled and typically romantic Machine was rewarded for falling asleep on the sofa half way through Barry White’s “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Baby” with a glorious morning the next day.

(The choice is yours: You want Barry?

Or you want the Velvets?)

Rather spoiling the good-to-be-alive ambience as we dumped our bags pitchside was the unavoidable sight of Koreanna going through their warm-up routine. Resplendent in matching blue tracksuits with KOREANNA emblazoned in black on the back, the slim and muscular Koreans (a mixture of North and South, according to Captain Sada) did something similar to what the Seconds do pre-match, but looked so much more intimidating.

Forth and back across the pitch they jogged, sometimes switching sideways to do that difficult cross-leg skipping thing the professionals do which only causes most fools who try it to fall over. Then they sat on the floor in a circle and stretched, for at least ten minutes, until they were satisfied they were supple.

Meanwhile on the other side of the pitch the Over 35s banged in long shots in the general direction of Trevor the Octopus until the big hand was on the twelve.

Peeeeeep

First quarter then and, well, our worst fears were essentially realized. Totally outclassed, we could easily have walked off at the break 0-5 down. Headers flew narrowly over; drives whizzed just wide; our woodwork reverberated…. 0-2 was a good result at the quarter mark. Multiply that by four and you only get eight.

The team talk at the break was about getting tighter to their centre backs and central midfielders before they had a chance to spray it out wide and catch our back line on the hop. The team response on the pitch was simply to get even more physical.

Martin picked up a yellow for a hip-height Hornung-fu special; Gordon got a yellow for his second little shirt-pull of the day; and Russell was lucky to escape without sanction after attempting a most unbecoming little scything trip on their star man, the No. 20, as he peeled away on his jet heels near the touchline. The more robust approach kind of worked though. Koreanna could only add one to their tally in this period.

Third quarter now, and for reasons unknown (but I can make a guess [guests?]) Koreanna rested the influential No. 20 as well as their captain, and stuck their towering centreback in goal. History shows that the Silver Machine needs no second invitation to exploit such generosity, and once again we weighed in.

Thor turned in a six-yarder from a corner early in the quarter (1-3). His clenched fist to the bench helped raise spirits further as the crowd celebrated to the tune of Roxy Music’s “Do the Strand.”

“It’s a new sensation…”

A few minutes later, Alan Plater held up the play on the edge of the box before releasing an on-surging Gordon Deas down the right with a well timed pass. Gordon powered on past the flat-footed defender and thumped his shot first time low past the keeper. Cracking goal. Coolly celebrated.

Game on!

From 0-3 down to 2-3 down… Could we pull off yet another remarkable comeback victory? We fancied our chances alright as we strutted out for the fourth quarter.

Did I mention earlier that we’d been a bit physical in this one? We had. Indeed we were most unlike ourselves in this match, and respect to the referees, they punished us for our transgressions, sometimes quite reasonably. But did we deserve what happened at the beginning of the fourth quarter? We most certainly did not. I was right there alongside the referee when it happened…

…. Some sort of a through ball into the penalty box after a scruffy passage of play in midfield. Their striker goes in pursuit of the ball, closely followed by Martin who produces a brilliant sliding tackle to send the ball out cleanly for a corner. So clean was the contact between foot and ball, in fact, that the ball practically bounced off the wall behind the conifers at the Swimming Pool End. The referee, however, saw it differently.

PEEP! went the whistle and WRONG! pointed the finger toward the penalty spot. Worse, no! out came the yellow card, to be followed a second later by the red. Not without a quiet word in the ref’s ear–and he was not alone in expressing his opinion–off stomped Martin. Unbelievable.

The Koreanna striker then snidely chipped the PK straight down the middle as the Octopus dived to his right. And the rest, as they say, is…

Well, surely I don’t need to describe Thor’s second?

Game Over

For those of you who chose Barry White as your BGM (as no doubt most of you did), here’s a reminder of the Velvet Underground’s “Sunday Morning” refrain:

Watch out, the world’s behind you
There’s always someone around you who will call
It’s nothing at all

Take care, all.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Thorstein Strand, Gordon Deas

Man of the Match: The ref

Referees: Lads, just because a bloke falls over under a challenge doesn’t mean he’s been fouled.

Cards: Hornung (2 x yellow), Deas

Attendance: Big respect to YFA Director Akiyama-san for watching the whole match.